I want my life back

....i have worked since I was 17 and don't have a thing to show for it....was in a bad marriage and left with lot of credit card debts and high mortgage...lost everything ....i am too old to start over and don't have backbone to do anything about it..

I get up go to work and come home to empty house.( house that is not even mine its rented)...my only child is grown and made a life for herself...she is happy

sometimes i think no one would miss me ...if they gave out awards for self pity...I would win first prize///doctors thinks pills are the answer ...I don't think so

I long to have a house in the country with a big wrap around porch ...some land so that I can have dogs and cats ( I love animals) and maybe a garden

Too much time on my hands

....There was this gas station in "redneck country"trying to increase its sales, so the owner puts up a sign saying "Free sex with fill up"...soon a redneck customer pulls in and fills up his tank, and then asks for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10 and if he guess correctly he would get his free sex. The buyer guesses 8, and the proprietor said No, you were close, its was 7, sorry no free sex this time but maybe next time. Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time pulled in again for a fill up and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number.. The man guessed 2 this time. Sorry, it was 3. You were close but no free sex this time."
As they were pulling away , the driver said to his buddy.."I think this game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex"...the buddy replied, "No, its not rigged, my wife won twice last week!"